9

image source: eyeonspringfield.tumblr.com

i'm a real nutter for glasses. if i could have perfect vision without any implications, there is a chance i would say no. i feel protected by my glasses. no one in the big bad world could possibly get me.

which is why when i dream, i don't feel so secure. and i know, dreams aren't real or anything, but last night i had one that chilled me to the bone and when i woke up, i thought i was going to burst out crying. the dream went a bit like this:

i was at this party, and you know, it wasn't like a big thing, but a lot of my good friends were there. for no particular reason, (although i think i was particularly mad at one friend,) i made my way over to this disgustingly greasy guy, and i suppose you can guess what happened next.

well, i look up and i see him standing there, and he's pretty upset with me. he runs off, and my other friends are just all standing there speechless. i jump up and chase after him. tears streaming down my face, i reach him. he just stares at me. doesn't say a word. so i ask, i ask "why did you run?" and still, he just looks in my direction. but not at me anymore, he sees straight through me. i'm just an obstruction to the light. i don't get what's going on, so i take a step forward. still no reaction. i press on "..., what's going on? ..., why now?" nothing. my legs give in, i fall to the ground, and all he does is stand there. "... i don't get it. you never felt anything. that's just how it was. can't you just tell me, ..., what's going on?

and then, i guess i woke up. of course, this scenario won't be repeating itself in real life, but it just scared me. i don't know if dreams are meant to reflect the past or reveal the future, if they're just that, dreams, and what you want, but just haven't admitted to yourself, or if they're never going to happen, and that's why you dream, because it gives you a chance to explore the alternate answer, but i know that i like them, despite the major scare factor.